Breastfeeding Is Hard – And That’s Okay
Let’s cut to the chase here. Breastfeeding is hard.
At least, it was for me.
We all have those friends whose babies latched effortlessly, fulfilling those Pinterest Hallmark fantasies. This was not my experience.
So, what qualifies me to write a go-to breastfeeding guide? My journey wasn’t smooth, but it was real. I was born with inverted nipples (no one talks about this enough) and have breast implants. With my first, I pumped exclusively for a year due to pain, bleeding nipples, and a terrible latch. Breastfeeding did not come naturally – but making milk did. In that, I was lucky.
Fast forward to now: I’ve breastfed three daughters (15, 6, and almost 4) — all in completely different ways — for a total of nearly five years. Each child taught me something new, and each journey was a little easier, and more enjoyable, than the last.
Here’s what I know: fed is best. There is no single right way to feed your baby. Being a mom is hard enough without the added pressure to conform to anyone’s expectations. For those of you looking to support mama-to-be, remember that can begin before the baby. If you are pregnant or have just given birth, you are enough. Whether you breastfeed, pump, or use formula — you’re doing great, mama.
If you’re pregnant, postpartum, or simply curious, this breastfeeding guide is for you.
Start With Your Breasts: What to Know Before Breastfeeding
Did you know that breast implants or inverted nipples can affect breastfeeding? I sure didn’t. If nerves or milk ducts were damaged during the surgery, your milk supply could be impacted.
If you have flat or inverted nipples, educate yourself before birth. It will help you understand what’s normal, what’s not, and how to prepare. I was not prepared for the frustration, sensitivity, and pain when I tried to breastfeed my firstborn. Pumping can actually helps draw the nipples out, which ultimately aided in successfully breastfeeding my younger two.
And yes, it’s normal for one breast to produce more milk than the other. I affectionately called my overachiever “Leakey Pete.”
Top Breastfeeding Tips and Essentials
1. Find Lactation Support Early
Many hospitals offer free lactation consultants or postpartum support groups. With my second, I was there less than a week postpartum. These professionals help with latch, milk supply, and emotional support, many even weighing babies after feedings for peace of mind. Check your local hospital in advance for the resources available in your area.
Even if you don’t have local resources, virtual lactation support is growing fast. Check with your hospital, pediatrician, or even local mom groups.
Don’t underestimate emotional support. Partners and loved ones can be excellent support in many ways. With my first child, I felt completely alone. Fast forward nine years to my second, then third babies; my partner held my hand, breathing through uterine contractions in those first few days. He refilled snacks, water and soothing gels for my nipples (we called them pasties). My in-laws made me breakfast. Friends and family sent messages of encouragement. They sat with me in bedrooms for company when I didn’t feel comfortable out in the open.
This doesn’t just feed your body, it feeds your soul.
If you don’t have that kind of support, create it. Ask friends to gather for coffee or tea at a home during times that may feel vulnerable to you. Head to a play space or local park, strike up a conversation with moms, or their children. Children are mostly friendly, welcoming personalities. It’s all about knowing you are not alone.
2. Nipple Relief and Breast Care
Cracked or sore nipples are common — but treatable. Try these breastfeeding products and remedies:
- Nipple creams: lanolin-based or natural options like raw coconut oil
- Breast milk: yes, it works! Rub a few drops on nipples after feeding
- Gel soothies : store them in the fridge for instant cooling relief
- LaVie massagers single-handedly resolved numerous clogged ducts after my last child. The heating element is incredible for massaging through painful clogged ducts, encouraging let-down while pumping and feeding, and can fit into your pumping bra.
- These hot and cold therapy packs come with covers! Pop them in the fridge to relieve breast engorgement, microwave them to encourage let down and relieve clogged ducts, even the inevitable children’s boo-boos. Bonus: they double as kid-friendly ice packs later.
3. Stay Nourished and Hydrated
Your body is working overtime. Keep water, electrolytes, and snacks close by. I lived on Mega Omega trail mix and granola bars during late-night feedings.
Some moms experience intense thirst or hunger during breastfeeding, some don’t — totally normal. Each postpartum experience can be as unique as your child! Listen to your body, and eat nutrient-rich foods to support milk production.
4. Pumping Tips and Tools
If you’re pumping breast milk, the right tools and best practices make all the difference:
- Choose a high-quality breast pump — most are covered by insurance (links for ones I used)
- Use the correct flange size to prevent pain and improve milk output
- Look at a photo or video of your baby while pumping (it really helps!)
- Massage your breasts to stimulate milk flow
- Pump immediately after bottle-feeding — helps mimic your baby’s demand
Wearable pumps are game-changers, too — freedom and efficiency for busy moms.
Correct flange size can also make or break your experience. Most pumps come with a standard size. Depending on nipple and areola size (which may change during pregnancy), those may be either too small or too large.
A friend was determined to breastfeed her third. The first two never went past a month or so. She was convinced she didn’t make enough milk, until a lactation consultant suggested a smaller phalange size. Their breastfeeding journey was still going strong 9 months in!
5. Smart Milk Storage
Invest in milk storage bags or reusable containers to safely keep your liquid gold. A good freezer stash lets partners help with feedings, bond with baby — and gives you a well-deserved break. These are what I used. There are plenty of other options available.
6. Other Must-Haves for Breastfeeding Moms
- Sterilization bags – quick, easy, microwave-friendly sanitizing for pump parts, bottles, pacifiers, even tubing
- Nursing pillows or rolled blankets – all sizes, for ergonomic positioning. No back injuries for mom, please!
- Nipple pads – Disposable or reusable, to catch any leaks
- Ladybug milk collectors – great for overnight leaks or letdown on the opposite breast
- Haakaa pump – a simple, hands-free milk collector (get one with a lid!)
- Breathable nursing cover – helpful if your baby runs warm or you want privacy on the go. I still have this and wear it. Capes are in now. And also, “It’s an old nursing cover!”
The milk collectors take a bit of getting used to, but if your breasts leak overnight for any reason, they are without a doubt the solution. The ladybugs collected all the milk leaked overnight with no mess, and saved me countless sheet changes. Promptly refrigerate or feed your baby come morning. Made by the same company that makes the Haakaa (linked above), bundles with savings are available if you purchase them together.
Remember: Every Breastfeeding Journey Is Unique
Whether you’re exclusively breastfeeding, combo feeding, or pumping, remember that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Your baby’s needs — and your body’s capabilities — are unique.
No one expects you to have it all figured out. Your baby doesn’t either. What they need most is you.
If this breastfeeding guide helped you, save it or share it with another new mom. And if you’ve got your own favorite products or mom hacks, drop them in the comments — we love hearing from you!
You’ve got this, mama. 💕
