We are still at home at the end of June 2020 and in the middle of a pandemic. And yet, a whole new movement has emerged during this time, fueling our family, and myself specifically to take a look at how I exist in this world as a white woman. I can tell you, that in our home, we believe that Black Lives Matter and in the importance of raising children that are anti-racist. I’ll be honest, these exact terms and phrases are new to me. Because if you had asked me before, of course I would have told you those things were true and that we were not racists. We have spent the past month listening and learning. I know that in order to be an effective ally, I will continue to listen and learn for the rest of my life.
At some point as a blogger, and as a human being who cares about those in my community, it’s also time for me to use my voice. I have established this platform as a place for all mothers in Central Florida to unite, to feel heard and valued, and to find connection. And I continue to mean that from the very bottom of my heart. In this sense, listening and learning then is not enough. I must seek consistent action that makes our community safe for Black families – mothers, fathers, and children. In the coming months we will continue the Momlando content you’ve come to love. We will also continue to use this platform to bring the information we learn forward to help however we can.
You may not believe that’s what this blog is for. You may not believe in the words I’ve chosen to use to display my concern. You may not agree with what I say. If you choose to stop reading this blog from here on out, thank you for coming this far on our journey. If you believe that there’s room for us all to grow and inform our opinions in understanding how we can actively be anti-racists then I welcome you stepping alongside me.
And whichever you choose, I hope you will do so while wearing a mask.
What We’re Doing at Home
Reading, Learning, and Listening
Educating ourselves is the most powerful tool we have in a step forward as anti-racists. I am currently reading Layla Saad’s Me and White Supremacy. This 28-day workbook brings you through your conscious and unconscious bias and puts you face to face with yourself. It has been very eye-opening for me. Several coworkers of mine and I are reading this together with a weekly discussion. It has broadened the scope of the work for me and I am grateful for that. I am also continuing to educate myself on systemic racism and the systems in place that actively oppress BIPOC communities every day. They are pervasive in our country and my privilege has often allowed me and my family to benefit from them without even thinking about it.
Recommended readings: Ibram X. Kendi – How to be an Antiracist and Antiracist Baby Board Book, Robin Diangelo – White Fragility, I’m Still Here – Austin Channing Brown
Recommended podcasts/videos: Heather McGhee – Racism has a cost for everyone, Akilah Hughes – What a Day, NPR Code Switch, Pod Save the People with DeRay Mckesson
Recommended Instagrams: The Conscious Kid, Layla Saad, No White Saviors, Austin Channing Brown, Ijeoma Oluo, Sonya Renee Taylor, Rachel Cargle
Talking to Our Children
This month we pointedly talked about race with our kids for the first time. We have books full of diverse faces, puppets and dolls of different skin tones. I thought that was enough, no convo needed. I’ve learned how wrong that was. So we said the words, pointed to skin colors, said white and black and talked about our friends with many skin tones. I was nervous. This went against everything I learned growing up not to point out race and be ‘colorblind’. I had moved past that as an adult but hadn’t made the connection on how to get my kids in on that lesson. In hindsight then it seems obvious, you must address it.
Our conversation went alright but was not a magic cure all. With everything in parenting it will take showing up again and again, ready to teach them, listen to them, and lead them with our actions. It was only the first conversation and we are committed to having more.
I heavily believe that in order for kids to truly understand how to celebrate each other’s differences, they need to see that there is so much to celebrate. I am committed to showing my kids Black joy and the many incredible aspects of Black culture.
Speaking Up
This seems counterintuitive when I’ve said several times how important it is for me to listen and learn. At the same time, I must acknowledge the pain my silence in matters of race has caused and will continue to cause if I remain silent. Where I am a leader, I must speak out about injustice and aggressions that continue to systematically oppress the Black community.
That means using my voice to vote in local and national elections, speaking up when I am involved in any project and the only voices around the table are white, holding my workplace accountable in changes towards including the BIPOC community in a meaningful way, and correcting people who incorrectly spout misinformed rhetoric.
None of these need to be in a way that has me as the center, but rather opens the discussion to allow Black voices to be included and spotlighted. And all of which can be done without ‘cancel’ culture or further paining my Black brothers and sisters.
While it can be hard to see the bright side in this pandemic, I feel grateful that all of us have been forced to slow down and take a look at what really matters. If we can put aside who we think we are to acknowledge who we can become, we can look forward to being a community where everyone is valued and celebrated equally.
And please wear a mask.
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