Everyone should go to therapy.

You know when someone cautiously admits they’ve gone to therapy and then follows with, “I’m not saying everyone should go but…”  Well I’m not saying that. I’m saying everyone should go to therapy.

Or at least, know they can go.  And know where to go once they’re ready.  And be able to get an appointment. And be able to afford it.  Therapy is not for everyone for a lot of reasons: It’s expensive, it’s hard to get an appointment, and in general there’s a stigma about actually dealing with your shit in a productive manner.  As if shopping, running, and getting a manicure are the same as processing whatever emotional upheaval you find yourself in. I love shopping. I see how running can be a powerful coping mechanism.  And it’s nice when my nails are polished.  But therapy, gosh, therapy will set you free.

When I was in my early 20’s I had some mega emotional drama going on.  It took me about three months to get the courage up to find a therapist.  It changed my life. I actually figured out how to deal with my insecurities, assert myself, and ask myself questions about what would make me happy in life.  The happiness of my life today is directly a result of those years I spent in therapy.

So years later as my calm and happy life was disrupted by the joyful emotional chaos of child rearing, I had a built in airbag.  Today, I always know I can go back to therapy when I need to find some balance.

Being a mom is no joke.  In many ways it’s nothing like I imagined it would be.  Almost every mom I know will tell you how isolated and lonely they feel.  Even if you’re sitting there together with another mom! That is hard to swallow.  I’m a very outgoing person I’ve always had a million things to do and see and tons of plans on the weekend.  Right now, when people invite me to things I’m stressed out and panicked inside. It’s hard to even leave the house some days with my kiddos.

I thought I’d be a peaceful, never yell, talk through all our feelings kind of mom.  Let’s figure out rational decisions together all that woo woo stuff. But you can’t always do that with a toddler!  And babies don’t care about your rational discourse when they’re hungry. I’m always good to handle the big things but then these tiny things would make me lose it.  Then I’d be mad at myself for that and not being a good mom. I was mad I had to go to work and mad when the kids wouldn’t go to bed because I was tired. I wasn’t doing anything for myself.  I was frustrated all the time.

I knew I needed to go back to see my therapist.   And so I went.  With both my kids I’ve gone in for a little mental health tune up.  With my first I just went once, a standard guilty new mom can’t figure out how to balance my life check-in.  In 2017, with a 3.5 year old and an infant, I was spiraling. I went back. It took a little longer that time around.  But I’m feeling great and back on an even keel. Thank God for therapy.

I know I have a lot less barriers than someone who has never been before.   When you have never been to therapy you have so many ideas of what it’s going to be.  But if you give it a chance I know you’ll find the peace you’re dying to find. Being a parent is so hard.  If you’re struggling I encourage you to see if therapy is right for you. I promise you it is.