I don’t believe in new year’s resolutions. There, I said it.
I’m feeling PTSD going into this 2024 for many reasons. Being bombarded by headlines about the best new year’s resolutions and how to commit to them isn’t helping. Data suggests between 80-90% of people who make a resolution fail to keep it. Some people throw in the towel a month – or even a week – into the new year. As a mom trying to model healthy choices for my children, the math doesn’t add up. Why set myself up to fail year after year?
The Appeal of Starting Over
Changing the date on the calendar not only presents a new page, it signifies a new chapter, a new beginning. New year’s resolutions mean you are absolved of any wrongdoing prior to 11:59 am on December 31st. Didn’t stick to last year’s budget? Made some bad choices? Doom-scrolled so much your screen time way outnumbered your sleep hours? Do-over on January 1! Who doesn’t want that?
The appeal of a blank slate impacted me the most when I had my firstborn. I remember looking down at my sweet baby and immediately realizing the unlimited promise her new life held. It was a powerful epiphany that sent me inward on a journey of self-reflection and growth to be the best me. Originally, it was solely for her. That journey is now a life-long one for me, and it definitely didn’t start January 1.
After years of failed new year’s resolutions, I only entertain change that’s heavy on grace, without the pressure of a clock ticking away. I have started plenty of diets, reading challenges, and exercise plans on January 1 with everyone else. None of these evolved into long-term changes. I’m not saying typical new year’s resolutions aren’t worthwhile goals in general. Moving my body more, being intentional with my time, spending quality time with my children, these are all changes that have evolved for me this year. I bet if you reflect on the last twelve months, you’ve already come farther than you’ve realized by making small, daily choices in the moment. The beauty of real growth, meaningful change, is that we can commit to it at any given moment.
Worthwhile Non-Resolutions
For 2024, I have two suggestions: commit to resolve. The definition of resolve is to find a solution, to decide firmly on a course of action. This isn’t something we can do once for an entire year. We have no idea what challenges we will face, what hurdles will be placed in our path, what joy or pain we may be in a position to receive. Knowing that, how can we define one course of action? What we can do is commit to being open to whatever life throws at us, trust we will find a way to fall forward, and use those varied life experiences to grow into better versions of ourselves for ourselves – and our children. This is one commitment the entire family can get behind.
My second option: don’t. If no one has told you lately – you are already enough! Lean in to loving yourself, and continue living your life one day at a time. It’s healthy to like yourself, and who you are becoming. And if you are raising little humans, take a moment to love yourself like you love your children, because in their eyes you hung the moon, mama. That doesn’t mean we all don’t feel insecure, awkward, or that we don’t lose our temper daily between dinner and bedtime. The constant each new year is that we’re human. It’s a beautiful work-in-progress not one of us has perfected yet. Thankfully.
