I think of myself as an empathetic person. A good listener. A great friend. These are all important titles to me. But as I’ve been doing some reading lately, I kept seeing a phrase that I only sort of understood. On the third time reading, ‘hold space for people’ I started to wonder how and if I even know how to do that.
I got nervous. I’m a self-help girl! I am always ‘doing the work’. What is this thing I can’t quite define? I needed answers. Google here I come. More than anything my googling shows it’s listening without judgement. Like to really listen to someone so deeply in a conversation that you make the entire thing about them. Do I do this? Maybe? Sometimes…. Definitely not always. I’ve got some work to do.
Don’t center yourself. It’s not that I mean to over commiserate with someone when we’re talking. I want them to know I understand! But then you’re taking the focus off of them and onto yourself. Let your pal be the center of the conversation. Don’t make it about you.
Don’t try to fix it. Oh this is a tough one for me. I’m an idea gal! But unless someone is asking your advice, don’t give it.
Listen. Listen. Listen again. Listen like it’s the only thing you’re going to do right now. It should be…you don’t have your phone out right?
Don’t bring up your own stuff. Again, you’re not the center of the convo here. They are!
Times are hard right now. If your friend needs you to be a comforting ear, use our tips to hold space for them. They’ll feel valued and appreciated and be ready to return the favor when you need it too.
