In a recent Momlando newsletter I mentioned a parenting book I’d read to gain some new insight on raising our little guy. Quite a few of our readers wrote back with the books they recommend as well. I’ve compiled my most recent read along with theirs!
Note: The links go towards amazon links – admittedly because that’s easy to do and in the time of COVID-19 a suggestion I know that will allow you to download or have it delivered. But I suggest you reach out to your local bookstore and support them! And when life resumes normally, your local library may have many of these books. And if not, they will order them for you if requested. Super cool!
Before we get to the list, I’m also acknowledging an answer to one email I received which said, ‘How do you even find time to read?’ Which I totally get can be daunting in the hectic pace of everyday life. My response goes something like this…In general, I just always have a book out and within reach in the living room. If my kids are watching a movie or playing on their own I start reading. I think it’s a positive thing. It’s a great habit for them to observe. I do make sure those books are paper not digital. I don’t think the kids can discern me scrolling on the phone vs reading so I don’t like how that may appear. Conversely I usually do have a book on my phone. I use the Libby App. It lets you use your library card to check out ebooks! If I’m waiting somewhere or have time to myself at lunch I read that (this is a reflection of times in the past and times to come. I currently am sheltered in place) Overall I really wish I read more and it’s something from my pre-child life that I greatly miss. I can’t wait for the day that my kids are bigger and I can spend a morning by myself reading for a few hours. That’s the dream!
Momlando’s most recent read:
No Bad Kids by Janet Lansbury
This book came recommended by a friend who is implementing Lansbury’s parenting approach. What I liked most about her approach is that it relieves a lot of the pressure that I often feel from over structuring or over disciplining my kids. In Lansbury’s book she suggests you trust babies to show you what they need or have interest in and follow their lead.
Reader Suggestions:
No Drama Discipline: The Whole Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
“They are the authors of The Whole Brain Child, which is a wildly popular book (although I haven’t read it). Their approach focuses on a child’s brain development and having their “downstairs brain” and “upstairs brain,” and the importance of connecting with our children and helping calm their downstairs (more primitive) brain so we can effectively communicate with them. I’m still listening to it on audiobook but I have implemented some of the techniques with my toddler and it has been effective in our patience with each other.” – Momlando Reader
The Montessori Toddler: A Parent’s Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human by Simone Davies
A book that promises ways to be a more mindful and easygoing parent? Sign us up. Davies lays out the basic principles of Montessori child-centered learning, in which students work at their own pace within a prepared environment using hands-on concrete materials. Another huge plus of this book are the gorgeous illustrations and photos that help you easily understand the concepts being discussed.
The Gift of Failure by Jessica Lahey
Modern parenting is defined by an unprecedented level of overprotectiveness: parents now rush to school to deliver forgotten assignments, challenge teachers on report card disappointments, mastermind children’s friendships, and interfere on the playing field. As teacher, journalist, and parent Jessica Lahey explains, even though these parents see themselves as being highly responsive to their children’s well-being, they aren’t giving them the chance to experience failure—or the opportunity to learn to solve their own problems.
Everywhere she turned, Lahey saw an obvious and startling fear of failure—in both her students and her own children. This fear has the potential to undermine children’s autonomy, competence, motivation, and their relationships with the adults in their lives. Providing a clear path toward solutions, Lahey lays out a blueprint with targeted advice for handling homework, report cards, social dynamics, and sports. Most important, she sets forth a plan to help parents learn to step back and embrace their children’s setbacks along with their success.
How to Raise an Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims
In How to Raise an Adult, Julie Lythcott-Haims draws on research, on conversations with admissions officers, educators, and employers, and on her own insights as a mother and as a student dean to highlight the ways in which overparenting harms children, their stressed-out parents, and society at large. While empathizing with the parental hopes and, especially, fears that lead to overhelping, Lythcott-Haims offers practical alternative strategies that underline the importance of allowing children to make their own mistakes and develop the resilience, resourcefulness, and inner determination necessary for success.
Relevant to parents of toddlers as well as of twentysomethings–and of special value to parents of teens–this book is a rallying cry for those who wish to ensure that the next generation can take charge of their own lives with competence and confidence.
Teach Your Children Well by Madeline Levine
Psychologist Madeline Levine brings together cutting-edge research and thirty years of clinical experience to explode once and for all the myth that good grades, high test scores, and college acceptances should define the parenting endgame.
Parents, educators, and the media wring their hands about the escalating rates of emotional problems and lack of real engagement with learning found so frequently among America’s children and teens. Yet there are ways to reverse these disheartening trends. Until we are clearer about our core values and the parenting choices that are most likely to lead to authentic, and not superficial, success, we will continue to raise exhausted, externally driven, and emotionally impaired children who believe they are only as good as their last performance.
Confronting the real issues behind why we push some of our kids to the breaking point while dismissing the talents and interests of many others, Levine shows us how to shift our focus from the excesses of hyperparenting and the unhealthy reliance on our children for status and meaning to a parenting style that concentrates on both enabling academic success and developing a sense of purpose, well-being, and connection in our children’s lives.
Atomic Habits by James Clear
“This one isn’t a parenting book but it’s a really good book if you’re someone who wants to put systems into place to make your life easier!” – Momlando Reader
No matter your goals, Atomic Habits offers a proven framework for improving–every day. James Clear, one of the world’s leading experts on habit formation, reveals practical strategies that will teach you exactly how to form good habits, break bad ones, and master the tiny behaviors that lead to remarkable results.
If you’re having trouble changing your habits, the problem isn’t you. The problem is your system. Bad habits repeat themselves again and again not because you don’t want to change, but because you have the wrong system for change. You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems. Here, you’ll get a proven system that can take you to new heights.
